Who wants another excessively long gameplay series? Well we did apparently, so here's one of the greats. More pertinent questions include "So what's going on with the boy without a fairy?", "Why does a moustache tree have need of him?" and "How is Metal Gear involved?".
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The first 3D Legend of Zelda game, Ocarina of Time was created for the Nintendo 64 in 1998 and introduced innovative mechanics such as Z-targeting as well as many of the series' other trademarks. It has frequently been ranked as the greatest game of all time by many publications.
Link begins his epic quest across the land of Hyrule by... herding chickens. Well ok then!
Gorons need food. It may be made of rock but I guess it has a high concentration of essential minerals. In order to get the next McGuffin, Link has to solve a hunger crisis for an entire race. That escalated quickly.
The giant owl is leading Link to Zora's domain but where he ends up would turn many a stomach. Link fixes a big fish thing in this squidgy episode.
So we've got a ranch, a graveyard, the titular ocarina, time travel, evil plots, bad times etc. etc. But what we really want to know is "what's going on with the chickens?"
With the future looking grim, Link must collect more trinkets from increasingly complex places. Up first is the Forest Temple.
Clearly it has been a long time since we played this game. In this episode we struggle to figure out exactly what to do next, resulting in some theft, blue fire and a high step count.
The discovery of certain key items means there's an auspicious puzzle ahead. It sounds a bit sloshy and damp.
The Water Temple's treasure must be found but Link must defeat a shadowy character with an unorthodox method first.
So obviously it's time for the Fire Temple but it just wouldn't be "us" if there wasn't just a little confusion right from the start.
With hammer in hand, Link sets about freeing the Goron people and pauses for a spot of bowling.
Link hasn't drunk a lot of water on his adventure so far. Actually he might have had quite a bit at the water temple... but what he definitely hasn't done is drink from the well in Kakariko. Let's hope the townspeople never find out what's down there.
Link travels to the desert only to get incarcerated for some reason. The security of the facility he finds himself in is highly questionable, however, so it's time for Rob's least favourite Zelda mechanic: stealth.
The Spirit Temple offers new opportunities... for backtracking! Link goes hunting for treasures seen but not yet acquired before taking back the time he skipped.
Returning to the Spirit Temple a little taller, Link seeks to rescue Nabooru from a witchy duo.
Note that we're aware of the extra zoom in the second half of the video. Something went a bit weird
Link returns to Kakariko once again but this time finds fire and some blue blurry trouble.
No it isn't Sonic.
Link is close to besting the Shadow Temple but longs for a little time to tie up loose ends and solve the most concerning mystery so far.
The rainbow bridge beckons to Link. It's multicolour whimsy belies the horrors within Ganon's castle. Beware the boss design.
Christmas (or the "festive season") is nearly upon us so we decide that we won't really talk about it much. Save that for next week. That'll be special, just you see!
For now Zac will take you through the first Golden Sun game for 6 years and some breakout clonage in Shatter. Rob finishes up with the metal lords of Brütal Legend, begins on Bioshock 2 and targets TF2 again. Dan gets squeezed out a little again but does drop some nuggets on Super Meat Boy, Halo Reach and Batman.
In this podcast: